One of Millions

This is Pushpa.  Approximately every five seconds an elderly person is abused; she is just one of them.

Pushpa has lost everything; she is a 75-year-old amputee and cannot do anything for herself, despite that she is one of the lucky ones. She survived; so many others do not live to tell their story.
Pushpa now resides in a nursing home in London. She is safe, cared for, and most of all loved. Sometimes Pushpa still wakes up frightened and distraught in the middle of the night, she cries when she recalls what happened to her.

She vividly recalls one particular incident. She had just returned home after many months of being in a residential care home, following knee replacement surgery. Pushpa was slowly walking across the dining room, towards the bathroom using her Zimmer frame. She was proud and relieved that she was finally walking again after her surgery. When suddenly a member of her own family without any reason callously struck her and knocked her to the floor. The pain she endured was not just physical. Pushpa was hurt and needed medical attention. However, she did not receive any medical attention until her so called caretaker, her very own family member, “the one she trusted” (TOST), cunningly covered up for this other family member by ensuring Pushpa slipped in the shower the next day. TOST only then sought medical attention for Pushpa and passed off her injury as being caused by a nasty fall in the shower. Pushpa knew that her injury was not caused from slipping in the shower. Yet Pushpa remained silent.      
 
Pushpa endured physical, psychological, financial abuse and neglect for years. She never said a word. She felt ashamed and humiliated by her circumstances.  Pushpa’s abuser was a member of her own family.  Pushpa was loyal and loved her family unconditionally. She justified their behavior and mistreatment towards her by blaming her own disabilities. Pushpa felt she had become a burden. She was no longer useful, as she had once been. Hence, she was no longer needed or wanted.


At home, Pushpa was forced to live in inhumane conditions, unless there was going to be a visitor that day. She was denied basic human necessities: proper nutrition, bathing, clean bedding, and most horrifying of all, even essential medicines.  Pushpa was bedridden and completely dependent, yet most of the time there was no one around to help her, unless there was going to be a visitor that day.

There were times when she lay soiled in her own feces for hours and even overnight because she was too afraid to ask for assistance. Yes, she would be cleaned eventually by TOST, but not without verbal abuse and humiliation. Pushpa was constantly reminded by TOST that she was completely dependent on TOST for everything. If Pushpa was not submissive to TOST’s every whim, TOST yelled at her, threatening to run away and abandon her. Pushpa feared the consequences of being left alone. She felt she had no choice but to convince herself and accept that a bad home and family was better than no home and family at all.

Social services had put in place carers to come and assist Pushpa three times a day, once in the morning to bathe her but they were unable to do so. “The one she trusted ” refused to convert the ground floor shower to accommodate someone with a disability. The carers would return at lunch time and again at dinner time  to take care of Pushpa’s needs. With the carers attending her three times a day, Pushpa felt somewhat human again.

Now Pushpa was an independently wealthy lady. Her late husband had amply provided for her needs. She had an income, properties, and money in the bank. Pushpa was happy to pay someone to take care of her, but TOST was not.  Pushpa’s entire income was going directly into hands’ of  “the one she trusted”. In fact, this income is what Pushpa’s family was living on. TOST was in complete control of all of Pushpa’s finances and assets . Now, greedy TOST was unhappy about the fact that a portion of Pushpa’s income was going towards paying for carers to attend to her needs three times a day. So TOST stopped the carers from coming. TOST informed social services that she herself would be taking care of Pushpa. The carers were limited to coming only once a day, a quick morning visit to change her diaper and sponge clean her. In other words, it was back to living in inhumane conditions again for Pushpa. To be continued…