Abuser Character Traits

"Domestic abuse is defined as “a pattern of coercive control that one person exercises over 
another.” (Schechter, 1987)  Battering behavior physically harms, arouses fear, and prevents victims from doing what they wish or forces them to behave in ways they do not want. (Schechter, 1987)  Often the abusers “purposefully inflict pain and suffering and may abuse their victims in deliberate and extensive ways.” (Ramsey-Klawsnik, 1995)  Some abusers are simply interested in stealing money and possessions from family members to meet their personal needs. 


Keep in mind that many abusers lie, justify 
their actions and attempt to manipulate professionals. (Bancroft, 2002) "
-http://www.wcadv.org/sites/default/files/resources/ElderAbuse_Guide_HC_Prof.pdf



The abuser may: 
•  Be verbally agressive or even abusive in private or public to the victim, family, and professionals ie.  health care/social workers.
•  Attempt to convince professionals ie. health care/ social workers and friends and relatives that the victim is incompetent or insane. 
•  Be overly attentive to victim in public, especially around health care/ social workers.
•  Controls victim's daily activities 
•  Be overly protective or controlling of the victim and family members.Abuser will refuse to leave the room during doctors visits/ examinations etc. 
• Controls home environment, abuser will ensure that the victims is not left alone with any outside visitors.
•  Be overly charming and friendly to health care/ social workers/ community.
• Manipulative


"A manipulator's aggression is not obvious. Our gut may tell us that they're fighting for something, struggling to overcome us, gain power, or have their way, and we find ourselves unconsciously on the defensive. But because we can't point to clear, objective evidence they're aggressing against us, we can't readily validate our feelings
The tactics manipulators use can make it seem like they're hurting, caring, defending, ..., almost anything but fighting. These tactics are hard to recognize as merely clever ploys. They always make just enough sense to make a person doubt their gut hunch that they're being taken advantage of or abused. Besides, the tactics not only make it hard for you to consciously and objectively tell that a manipulator is fighting, but they also simultaneously keep you or consciously on the defensive. These features make them highly effective psychological weapons to which anyone can be vulnerable. It's hard to think clearly when someone has you emotionally on the run."
 -George K. Simon (In Sheep's Clothing)


"Character is doing the right thing when nobody's looking. There are too many people who think that the only thing that's right is to get by, and the only thing that's wrong is to get caught."
- J.C. Watts